

Jay Brecker
to leave the world behind
let’s employ a color say: yellow
another strategy: add fruit say: pomegranates
(which, though you might not know, can be yellow)
& we DEAR READER can agree:
this poem’s pomegranates will be so
​
yellow & in time a third strategy:
choose one animal: a moose name it
BISHOP that would be fun because it is
our moose & while we’re still strategizing
our approach is: BISHOP forages & is unlikely
​
to fish no rather our BISHOP is likely
to come upon the pomegranates some greenery—
sprays of SWEET WILLIAM: tiny blue flowers of gaslight
potency & BISHOP our moose composes
a meal we linger on this image: a moose
​
without a brush making a picture then
with one shake of its head opens its mouth
finishes each yellow pomegranate &
the oh so blue SWEET WILLIAM in a bite then turns
its back moves up-trail in a moose amble
​
which needs a pre-amble to get underway
in search of something we need to choose
a color call it water: a stream: mountain clear the hue
of emptiness: mirroring the color: sky
the color: tree the color: leaf the stream
​
seen through reveals its sands its small rocks
its bottom at the mercy of that our moose
buffaloes its way through shrubs to the shallows
puts a long leg down head pointed to the streambed
antlers spread apart like oaks’ limbs reflected
​
on the surface with all its weight tipped forward
its tongue touches the water then dips in once twice
then with a gentle push of its hind legs leaps the stream
& here we stand watch the shrubbery close
the grief of BISHOP’s disappearance lasts
​
only a moment our solace: remember its largeness
as it moves across the page finding pomegranates
not caring they are yellow never looking for fish
simply for food the blues of SWEET WILLIAM & a stream
hidden absorbed in all the color that surrounds it
bully him
that survivor who arrived
from somewhere other
did we oh yes
he was not us with his accent
having no place on our small piece of turf
in a city where we were bullied
where the sycamores—full-leafed—
spread hacked-up shadows
as the lights came on yellowing
the cars & the streets
was I the loudest no
was I the biggest no
I was the youngest maybe
that made me the meanest
was my back turned
when he found a razor blade
on the sidewalk used it
you bet I never felt the cut
only the blood dripping down
my neck—what the fuck—
bleeding more than my nose had
when smashed into a pillar
but no more surprised by what
he found how he used it
it’s not shadows spreading
on battleground streets
or ocherous light
that scares me now—
what gets me is believing
I'm alone when stepping from the shower
toweling off full of vacant thoughts
startled by a presence wounded
when the shock of those eyes cut me
dance ruse
now & again I get up to dance
I do not ask him he is not here
it does not stop me keep my clothes on
—listen as WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS
did to objects found between building
wings—broken green bottle-glass & those
cinders he made dance like plums or cold
fridge light some nights the dust of stars is
us the beat robust the sweat runs off
labored sweet beneath the moon the beat
depends upon the air he’d keep time
should he appear mondegreen lyrics
as do I lost our balance regained
when I teach him moves I barely know—
I barely know myself when dancing—
it’s unrestrained alone I do not see
the shuffle of songs as—house sparrows
lesser goldfinch or birds unknown—flit
in the avocado tree then go
I doubt their experience is mine
then again what do I know about
the breeze the leaves the songbirds singing
when the rhythm is found the body
learns to rhyme & nothing much depends
upon red wheelbarrows after rains
after white chickens after glazing
if an openhearted line unsung
cuts in unbidden dances around
​​​​​​BIO
​
Jay Brecker walks and writes in southern California. His poems are forthcoming or have appeared in Rattle Poets Respond, Birdcoat Quarterly, The Shore, Permafrost, Lily Poetry Review, Ocean State Review, RHINO Poetry, and elsewhere. His manuscript, blue collar eclogue, was awarded the 2024 Marsh Hawk Press Rochelle Ratner Prize.