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Poem
Image by Steve Gribble

Jay Brecker

to leave the world behind

let’s employ a color      say: yellow 

another strategy: add fruit      say: pomegranates

(which, though you might not know, can be yellow)

& we DEAR READER can agree:

this poem’s pomegranates will be      so

​

yellow      & in time      a third strategy:

choose one animal: a moose      name it

BISHOP      that would be fun     because it is

our moose      & while we’re still strategizing

our approach is: BISHOP forages & is unlikely

​

to fish      no rather our BISHOP is likely

to come upon the pomegranates some greenery—

sprays of SWEET WILLIAM: tiny blue flowers of gaslight

potency      & BISHOP      our moose      composes

a meal      we linger on this image: a moose

​

without a brush      making a picture      then 

with one shake of its head opens its mouth

finishes each yellow pomegranate &

the oh so blue SWEET WILLIAM in a bite     then turns

its back      moves up-trail in a moose amble

​

which needs a pre-amble to get underway

in search of something      we need to choose

a color      call it water: a stream: mountain clear      the hue

of emptiness: mirroring the color: sky

the color: tree      the color: leaf      the stream  

​

seen through reveals its sands its small rocks

its bottom      at the mercy of that      our moose

buffaloes its way through shrubs to the shallows

puts a long leg down      head pointed to the streambed

antlers spread apart like oaks’ limbs reflected

​

on the surface with all its weight tipped forward

its tongue touches the water      then dips in      once      twice  

then with a gentle push of its hind legs leaps the stream

& here we stand      watch the shrubbery close

the grief of BISHOP’s disappearance lasts

​

only a moment      our solace: remember its largeness

as it moves across the page      finding pomegranates

not caring they are yellow      never looking for fish

simply for food      the blues of SWEET WILLIAM & a stream

hidden absorbed in all the color that surrounds it

bully him

that survivor who arrived

from somewhere other

did we      oh yes

he was not us with his accent

having no place on our small piece of turf

in a city where we were bullied

where the sycamores—full-leafed—

spread hacked-up shadows

as the lights came on yellowing

the cars & the streets

 

was I the loudest      no

was I the biggest      no

I was the youngest      maybe

that made me the meanest

was my back turned

when he found a razor blade

on the sidewalk      used it

 

you bet      I never felt the cut

only the blood dripping down

my neck—what the fuck

bleeding more than my nose had

when smashed into a pillar

but no more surprised by what

he found      how he used it

 

it’s not shadows spreading

on battleground streets

or ocherous light

that scares me now—

what gets me is believing

I'm alone when stepping from the shower

toweling off      full of vacant thoughts

startled by a presence      wounded

when the shock of those eyes cut me

dance ruse

now & again I get up to dance

I do not ask him      he is not here

it does not stop me      keep my clothes on

—listen as WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

 

did to objects found between building

wings—broken green bottle-glass & those

cinders he made dance like plums or cold

fridge light      some nights the dust of stars is

 

us      the beat robust       the sweat runs off

labored      sweet      beneath the moon      the beat

depends upon the air      he’d keep time

should he appear      mondegreen lyrics

 

as do I      lost      our balance regained

when I teach him moves I barely know—

I barely know myself when dancing—

it’s unrestrained      alone I do not see

 

the shuffle of songs as—house sparrows     

lesser goldfinch or birds unknown—flit

in the avocado tree then go      

I doubt their experience is mine     

 

then again what do I know about

the breeze      the leaves      the songbirds singing

when the rhythm is found the body

learns to rhyme & nothing much depends

 

upon red wheelbarrows after rains

after white chickens      after glazing

if an openhearted line unsung

cuts in      unbidden      dances around

​​​​​​BIO

​

Jay Brecker walks and writes in southern California. His poems are forthcoming or have appeared in Rattle Poets Respond, Birdcoat Quarterly, The Shore, Permafrost, Lily Poetry Review, Ocean State Review, RHINO Poetry, and elsewhere. His manuscript, blue collar eclogue, was awarded the 2024 Marsh Hawk Press Rochelle Ratner Prize.

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